Just a little round-up of some of the funny and relatable posts.
Hope these bring you some laughs and hope you have a great week!
Janene
#1
Eating a second cookie because I ate the first one absentmindedly and I didn’t appreciate it enough
— Seth Vargas (@ohsethy) February 28, 2026
#2
My dad: what day is it?
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) March 1, 2026
Me: March 1st
My dad: [marches around the room] ok, what day is it?
#3
8am: eats healthy breakfast
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 18, 2024
12pm: eats healthy lunch
6pm: eats healthy dinner
11pm: rips open bag of chips with teeth & straps it on like a feedbag
#4
In a changing room someone sneezed so I instinctively said ‘bless you’ and she said ‘…who is that??’ and I said ‘me’
— Dee (@figgled) July 22, 2024
#5
the first time I went to the club with my friends, some random guy came up to me and streched out his arms for a hug. I felt bad for him so l hugged him for a few seconds, then he looked at me and said "I'm a bouncer, I was telling you to stretch ur arms out so I can search you"
— 5.🪐 (@luvhuss) February 21, 2026
#6
most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) July 23, 2024
#7
I just got a text from the hospital to confirm my appointment and let me know that they were changing it to a virtual visit.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) July 24, 2024
My appointment is for a colonoscopy.
#8
Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) July 26, 2024
#9
why do finance men wear backpacks. What's inside there. The money???
— delia (@delia_cai) July 24, 2024
#10
Someone just randomly approached me for advice at the supermarket because “you look like you know what you’re doing with cheese” and I don’t think I’ve ever been more flattered.
— Joy Marie Clarkson (@joynessthebrave) July 27, 2024
#11
having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you
— trash jones (@jzux) July 24, 2024
#12
The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) July 23, 2024
#13
My 4 yo son, walking into my office, "Are you still working?"
— RandomSprint🧭 (@RandomSprint) July 30, 2024
"Yeah, bud."
"How many more buttons do you have to press?"
#14
We gave my child a wallet with a single dollar bill to play with. She now has three dollars. I don't know where the other two came from. Help.
— Joe (@JoePostingg) August 16, 2024
#15
My wife is out thrifting.
— JT | Jerry Teixeira (@jerryteixeira) February 7, 2026
She just called me “can you bring your truck and meet me”
Thoughts and prayers would be appreciated…
#16
Spent all day cleaning my house top to bottom, I think it's finally ready for professional cleaner to come
— sarah (@sarahradz_) July 27, 2024
#17
Sometimes as a treat I will go to the bigger and farther away Target
— Natalie (@jbfan911) July 30, 2024
#18
My daughter has been experimenting with her own versions of “easy, peezy, lemon squeezy” and today she said “easy, crazy, mountain skeleton” and that’s gonna be tough to beat
— Drew Davenport 🎃 (@The_Davenporter) July 29, 2024
#19
I just told my daughter, “It’s 11:11 make a wish!” To which she replied, “My wish is that you go to the eye doctor because it’s 11:17.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) July 28, 2024
#20
This morning I woke up from a nightmare. Bleary-eyed, I tried to text my boyfriend about it. Accidentally texted Capital One 💀 pic.twitter.com/mhevXYbXsk
— Laurmageddon (@knittykitty) July 23, 2024
