20 Funny Posts to Start Your Week Off With Some Laughs

My daughter is sad because one of her preschool friends hasn’t been in school because he’s on vacation. I asked where he went and she said “he’s at the place where you can’t see the fox but the fox can see you” and I dunno I just feel like I’d need a vacation from that vacation.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) January 10, 2024

last night i went out to dinner w a bunch of friends and the waitress asked if anyone at the table had any allergies and my friend very seriously said “oh yes, cats”

— kim (@KimmyMonte) June 24, 2023

Me: What's the score, who's winning?

Therapist: Ok so that's really not how couples counseling works.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 31, 2017

*at bedtime*
Me: let’s girl talk
3: what’s that?
Me: when girls talk. What should we talk about?
3: corn on the cob

— Parenting Presently (@presentparent_) December 23, 2023

Really hate when you’re in a bad mood and take a walk outside and realize all the healthy people are right

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 22, 2025

I’m at the age where if I see a chair 🪑 I’m gone take me a lil seat.

— Lavion (@Cantstyle) June 26, 2024

When people say "if you know you know" I pretty much never know

— Jono (@whoinvitedjon) February 7, 2024

the movie itself is just a bonus when i’m at the theater. my main focus is obtaining a bucket of popcorn & a diet coke so big that i need both hands to pick it up

— Meg (@megannn_lynne) March 29, 2025

Guys, I had to book a flight for my grandma, and according to her passport, she's born in February, not July, as we have always celebrated. Asked, she said: “Well, you can't celebrate garden parties in February.”
O_o

— Berna (@BernaEWriter) December 26, 2023

“I don’t want the orange juice with the fruit meat”. – my 6yo referring to pulp as fruit meat

— Princess (@themultiplemom) January 1, 2024

Signs of aging may include irrational anger at someone parked in front of your house

— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝘀. (@im_all_id) March 10, 2022

my mother has a medical podcast where she self diagnoses her ailments it’s called my voicemail and it happens every morning at 9 am.

— kim (@KimmyMonte) October 2, 2022

Overheard a guy ending a conversation: “well, those are all my funny things I had to say.”

— ash (@heythatsmeash) November 7, 2024

I'm so tempted to remove the socks and hang the cardboard up on its own. pic.twitter.com/leck8rHe6b

— Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1) July 17, 2024

pic.twitter.com/WcX4gq4rdI

— Eric Alper 🎧 (@ThatEricAlper) June 26, 2024

pic.twitter.com/ebAOlbYj9m

— Julia Proofreader (@ProofreadJulia) June 22, 2024