Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
When my teachers said I should pay attention because I’d need to know this stuff for the future, I didn’t realize they meant when my kids were in school and I had to do it all over again
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 28, 2024
#2
Nothing makes me feel more like a child than my shoe lace being untied why is this happening I am an ADULT
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) March 28, 2024
#3
My children have never heard a phone ring — like a real, landline phone. And our 102 neighbor still, apparently has one. It rang while they were outside and she had the windows open, and they ran to me screaming because they thought they heard a fire alarm.
— Emily Zanotti 🦝 (@emzanotti) March 28, 2024
IT WAS HER PHONE.
#4
I am learning French for our trip to Paris but Duolingo keeps teaching me things like "I am a cat," and "The horse is eating an orange" and "Marie wants an owl" so I'm excited to see how the Parisians respond to my conversational style.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 26, 2024
#5
Hubby is playing “Restaurant” with the kids and it went from them serving him food, to him calling the cops on them so I guess it’s not going well.
— Jo 🌻 (@YokedWithChrist) March 24, 2024
#6
Most people assume the slowest mammal on earth is the three-toed sloth. But it’s actually my 3yo on his way to bed.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) March 27, 2024
#7
The airport in the morning is a chaotic and lawless place free from judgement. I watched a woman eating a gallon of ice cream for breakfast, another drinking whiskey straight from the bottle. Panda Express is packed with people having orange chicken at 6am. I judged none of them.
— octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) March 27, 2024
#8
Just taught the 7 yo how to whistle. Hand me the Stupid Move of the Year award now.
— Kitty Kat (@katbuble) March 19, 2024
#9
I expertly mediated a fierce toddler dispute at playgroup today, and then accepted all the praise and accolades from the other parents, without letting on I had just quoted word-for-word the latter half of a Daniel Tiger episode
— sarah (@sarahradz_) March 27, 2024
#10
I don’t always eat cereal, but when I do it’s no less than 8 serving sizes
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 27, 2024
#11
I was helping my son with his homework and I told him that a female gazelle was called a madamazelle so now I have another meeting with his teacher.
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) March 25, 2024
#12
Last night I told my 4yo if we went to sleep, we could hang out all night in “Dreamland.” This morning she told me she saw me in Dreamland and rehashed everything we did. Tonight she was so excited to meet up again in Dreamland.
— Parenting Presently (The Mom Hack) (@presentparent_) March 28, 2024
Did I just figure out this bedtime thing?
#13
“When did you meet my dad? Because I can see that you’re quite good friends”
— Ngcolosi yena yedwa (@BathuNgcolosi) March 29, 2024
– my brothers daughter to me 😭😭😭😭
#14
Just overheard my 8-year-old FaceTiming with her friend: “So apparently my mom said we can’t use the money in our college funds for our big idea because she says it’s illegal or something.”
— KSV (@KSVesq) March 28, 2024
So much to unpack here.
#15
my bff’s kindergartner has a crush on a classmate and found out she got a new dress for a class party and he wanted to also dress up and “look his best” to impress her, but another little boy in class did the same and he was shown up 😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/wYvBitJT1m
— 🌈Dr. Frizzle (@Swilua) March 27, 2024
#16
6yo: Daddy, houses cost a lot of money. Can I just take your house when I grow up?
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) March 25, 2024
Me: Where would mommy and I live?
6yo: Basement.
#17
The most unrealistic thing I've ever seen in a movie is when an entire family sits down to eat breakfast together on a weekday.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 25, 2024
#18
our toddler received a camera for her third birthday and is now capturing True Parenting Moments like when she was refusing to put down the camera so we could leave and I just buried my face in my hand pic.twitter.com/18F7jghTT2
— Nathan W Pyle (@nathanwpyle) March 27, 2024
#19
We're walking to the cemetery because my 9yo wants to "write down all the names of the dead people." What?!
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 24, 2024
She's brought a pen and paper.
No clue where this is going, but I'm gonna post updates.
#20
The best magic trick ever
— Science girl (@gunsnrosesgirl3) March 24, 2024
pic.twitter.com/UDCIWgWaIK
