Just a quick little round-up of some funny posts for some laughs today.
Hope these bring you some smiles!
Janene
#1
There is nothing that makes me question my entire being quite as much as someone casually saying "you're supposed to deep clean [this object/household thing] regularly" and it's something I've never cleaned at more than a surface level, if at all, in my whole life
— Sarah Hollowell 🦝 (@sarahhollowell) April 4, 2024
#2
My daughter got sent out of class for being too sarcastic today.
— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) January 15, 2026
The teacher said, "What would your parents say if I called them?"
She replied, "Hello!"
#3
"I don't get why you set so many alarms"
— Janel Comeau 🍁 (@VeryBadLlama) March 23, 2024
congrats on being able to rocket back to existence every morning but some of us have to be gradually raised from the depths like the remains of an ancient shipwreck being brought to the surface
#4
When I say you have my full attention you really have like 64% at most
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) April 7, 2024
#5
banks will email you to let you know that you have a new message in your Online Banking Mailbox and the message is "We are your bank"
— Kaitlin Grady (@_kaitlingrady) April 4, 2024
#6
Please respect my privacy during this time*
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 22, 2024
*eating in my parked car
#7
“When did you meet my dad? Because I can see that you’re quite good friends”
— Sizwe samaNgcolosi (@BathuNgcolosi) March 29, 2024
– my brothers daughter to me 😭😭😭😭
#8
My children have never heard a phone ring — like a real, landline phone. And our 102 neighbor still, apparently has one. It rang while they were outside and she had the windows open, and they ran to me screaming because they thought they heard a fire alarm.
— Emily Zanotti 🦝 (@emzanotti) March 28, 2024
IT WAS HER PHONE.
#9
Nothing makes me feel more like a child than my shoe lace being untied why is this happening I am an ADULT
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) March 28, 2024
#10
The year is 2482.
— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) March 10, 2024
The human population has been decimated.
Machines have taken over Earth.
A new season of Grey's Anatomy starts.
#11
When I was a kid there were two ways to die, quicksand and talking back to your parents.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) January 15, 2026
#12
Google Maps places way too much faith in my ability to find my destination on my left in 800ft
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) April 8, 2024
#13
I woke up to find my child drawing broken hearts all over himself in pen. I asked him why he was doing that, and he said “My heart is so sad because you didn’t feed me yet.” It was 6:22 am.
— StressieBessie (@EPrecipice) October 22, 2023
#14
I don’t know who needs to hear this but you can stay in your pajamas all weekend if you want to.
— krista (@kristabellerina) March 16, 2024
#15
No one is filled with more false confidence than I am when I don't write something down because "I'll remember that."
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) April 7, 2024
#16
Pulling my phone up off the floor by the phone charger is the closest I’ll ever come to fishing.
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) March 25, 2024
#17
i want a small, tasteful wedding. no family. no friends. no groom. just me eating a big cake
— trash jones (@jzux) March 24, 2024
#18
I showed my 4yo a picture of me standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, and now every time we drive by an electrical tower on the highway she says LOOK MOMMY THE EIFFEL TOWER!!
— Parenting Presently (@presentparent_) March 4, 2024
I think I’ll wait a while before budgeting our first family trip to Europe
#19
my toxic trait is that if they opened Jurassic park I would still totally go
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 23, 2024
#20
lol – getting pizza slice and the guy in front of me (trying to banter with the cashier) is like “you made mine with extra love right” and the cashier very solemnly and Eastern European accentedly said “it’s made with normal amount pepperoni”
— 🔎Al🔍 (@SweatieAngle) April 12, 2024
