20 Hilariously Relatable Tweets That Prove You’re Not Alone

My ancestors navigated the ocean using the stars and I'm over here missing exits with a GPS

— 🌱ﾟLisa･⁠｡✿ (@brummett_marie) August 20, 2022

Last month I did the unthinkable and finally threw out that box of unloved cables that I've dragged with me through adulthood.

Today I realised that I needed one of them and have no idea how to find a replacement.

CONSIDER THIS A WARNING TO YOU ALL

— Lemuel Lyes (@LemuelLyes) March 28, 2022

To everyone whose name I’ve forgotten shortly after meeting them: I get my own kids’ names wrong half the time. You never had a chance.

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) December 3, 2019

Before you marry someone:

1. Listen to them eat a bowl of cereal.
2. Ask them which side of the bed they sleep on.
3. Watch them brush their teeth.
4. Make sure you are temperature compatible.
5. Survive one cold and flu season at minimum.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) July 28, 2019

someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster, so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

— mariana Z (@mariana057) March 13, 2021

How people walk when they’re:

DATING *holding hands*
ENGAGED *arms locked*
MARRIED *one person is 5 feet in front of the other and yelling back at them for parking so far away*

— Josh (@iwearaonesie) December 17, 2017

I’m tired of people saying “here’s my go to lazy meal” and then they start chopping an onion

— naledi🍉 (@naledimashishi) February 17, 2022

“I’m just gonna get gas in the morning” is one of the worst decisions you can make as an adult.

— Jordan (@jordanconnealy) July 14, 2020

There should be a calorie refund for things that didn’t taste as good as you expected

— Sommer Ray (@SommerRay) May 29, 2018

Microwaves should have a Get Butter To Room Temperature Without Melting button.

— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) October 20, 2023

I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t have any more passwords left in me.

— Manager of Logistics for Management McManagement (@doctuh_p) September 14, 2021

The anxious urge to say "no worries either way" when you are actually worrying both ways plus a secret third way

— Ꮍᴀᴇʟ (@elle91) January 20, 2022

It’s amazing how fast your mood can change after you step in some water with socks on.

— Aimee (@ACall55) May 5, 2018

i be like “long story short” then tell it with behind the scenes bonus features

— IG: closedapp (@ih8rts) November 11, 2022

How dare you drive the speed limit when I’m late to something due to my own poor time management skills

— Theodor Capitani Von Kurnatowski (@avaevanss) May 16, 2018

Why don’t they just make the Tupperware spaghetti colored right there at the factory

— grandma gertrude (@grandmagertru20) January 15, 2023

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get take out, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning. the. kitchen.

— tiffany (@lifeattiffanys) June 28, 2020

did I “kill a plant” or did the plant not have what it takes to thrive in this fast-paced environment

— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) June 20, 2022

My favorite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it and then I never find it again

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) September 13, 2022

I don't like the person I become when the grocery store cashier bags my groceries out of the order that I put them on the belt.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) October 7, 2018