15 of the Funniest Posts About Married Life in May 2025

Husband: We need to keep this box in case we have to return the item.

*10 years later*

Me: Can I get rid of this box? We don't even have the item anymore.

Husband: No, keep it. Just in case.

Me: Just in case of what????

— Hollie Harris (@allholls) May 29, 2025

I feel a cold coming on so my wife has already moved out.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 30, 2025

1st year of marriage: what is mine is yours and what is yours is mine

30 years later: you’re sitting in the dog’s spot

— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) May 23, 2025

My wife thinks it's weird that I stare at the window during a heavy rainstorm.

It would be a lot less weird if she'd just let me in.

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) May 14, 2025

My wife said I need to start making healthier choices so this morning I got a donut without sprinkles.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) May 23, 2025

air-conditioned wife, happy life

— meghan (@deloisivete) May 15, 2025

Me: OMG look at that baby! Don’t you just—

Husband: No.

— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) May 12, 2025

when you suddenly realize that your spouse is talking to you and think it's been going on for a while

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 17, 2025

After a night of socializing my husband and I sit in complete silence for at least 30 minutes and this is why introverts should marry each other.

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) May 11, 2025

One day you're young and free and the next you're eating a Twinkie in an empty parking lot so your wife won't know about it.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) May 6, 2025

My husband handed me a coffee before I even said good morning. I don’t know if that’s love or survival instinct, but I’ll take it.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) May 12, 2025

In the 20 minutes since we left Chick-fil-A.

My wife’s brain: Planned a party, decided on 3 gift ideas, made a grocery list and dinner plan for next week.

My brain: Getting extra pickles on my sandwich was such a great call. Seriously, this is so good.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 17, 2025