Another week and and another round of funny and relatable quips from parents!
Here are some of the ones that made me laugh this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
A string of Christmas lights that doesn’t work is the worst. Luckily last year I put all those strands back in the bin with the good ones so I can be mad again this year.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 26, 2023
#2
I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though
— Hustlanani (@hustlanani) November 24, 2024
#3
me: I'm eating a new piece of cheese every day
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 2, 2024
them: is it for an advent calendar
me: no
#4
I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with snacks and stare at the boxes.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) November 29, 2024
#5
My 7yo casually told me he added a parachute to my Amazon cart that needed to be purchased soon with no additional explanation.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) December 3, 2024
#6
Just once I want to be the mom who first sees the class holiday party list go live so I can be the bringer of paper plates
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 3, 2024
#7
Daughter: [giving me attitude]
— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) December 5, 2024
Me [picking up phone]: That's it, I'm calling Santa.
Daughter: Dad I'm 24.
#8
Last night my seven year old asked to go to bed about 20 minutes before her normal bedtime. “Are you sleepy?” I asked. She said, “I’m not tired, I’m just tired of being awake,” and brother, I felt those words in my bones.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 4, 2024
#9
Told the kids that I used to watch Rudolph but on VHS tape and my 6yo asked if that was around the time Christmas was discovered
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 1, 2024
#10
today i saw a group of 15 teenage boys hanging out after school in the whole foods cafe and every single one of them was eating their own personal rotisserie chicken
— nadine (mood stabilized era) (@fakenadine) November 28, 2024
#11
Aunt: which one of you was born first?
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) December 2, 2024
Twin A: I came first.
Twin B: She’s the rough draft and I’m the final copy.
#12
We watched Flight of the Navigator and my son asked if I had seen it before. I told him I saw it in the theater when it came out. “SERIOUSLY?!?” he asked. I said “yeah…why are you shocked?” and he goes, “Oh, sorry, I just never know what kind of technology y’all had back then.”
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 2, 2024
#13
I caught my 3yo singing “And a partridge in a pantry”
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) December 2, 2024
#14
Y’all. I saw this old guy in my facebook feed and I’m like, ‘who is this random old man in my facebook feed?’ And then I realized it was someone who I graduated high school with, and i am unwell.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) November 7, 2024
#15
Breaking news: I’ve officially entered hour 6 of untangling my Christmas lights. Morale is low, coffee is gone, and I’m considering just wrapping the whole knot around the tree and calling it “modern art.”
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) December 2, 2024
#16
Wow, my kids are decorating the heck out of this small lower left section of our Christmas tree.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 1, 2024
#17
I’m going to start carrying a sign that says “my child has a coat they just don’t want to wear it”
— Emily Zanotti 🦝 (@emzanotti) December 6, 2024
#18
When I got pregnant, I did not think ahead to the moment 11 years later when I would have to stand on the edge of a football pitch in the pouring rain in December.
— Caroline Hardman (@LittleHardman) December 1, 2024
#19
[Bath & Body Works]
— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) December 2, 2024
Me: I need a bottle of body lotion for my wife.
Clerk: These are Buy 3 Get 1 Free.
Me: I just need this one here.
Clerk: That's not Buy 3 Get 1 but it IS Buy 1 Get 2 and if you buy this it's Buy 2 Get 3 Free.
Me [leaving with 300 bottles]: how did this happen
#20
Coming soon to a living room near you . . . pic.twitter.com/biHQDmik4j
— Windy101🇨🇦🇺🇸🇺🇦🐾🐾🐾 (@hey_butter) November 1, 2024
