20 of the Funniest Tweets from Parents of Tweens

The “tween” years, ages 8 – 12, are right in between the carefree days of childhood and the angst-filled drama of teenagehood.

I found these to be great ages with all of my kids. They are old enough to have interesting conversations, and often display great senses of humor, but are not at the point yet where they are embarrassed to be seen with you!

I’ve rounded up 20 of the funniest tweets about life with tweens below.

Janene

#1

My 9yo just told me:
Thank you, Catherine Obvious.

I’m not correcting her.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 12, 2021

#2

My 10yo asked what the point of a phonebook was and as I explained it the room transformed into a prehistoric scene and a pterodactyl flew overhead.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 18, 2024

#3

Asked my 12 y/o daughter how her babysitting business was going and she said it’s tough when some people don’t even charge for their services.

“Grandparents are my biggest competitors.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) November 29, 2023

#4

I did the universal sign for “call me” and my tween gave me a confused look and asked “on a banana?”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 5, 2023

#5

My son (11) was talking to his friends playing fortnite and I hear him say, “My mom is a big deal on the internet” to which one of the kids said, “Is she on Onlyfans?” And son said, “What’s that?” And other kid said, “Google it” and when I say I have never run so fast in my life
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) April 25, 2021

#6

My kids saw mail I received that was addressed to me as “Mr.” and then my 9yo asked “Why do you have a mister in front of your name? I didn’t know you were an important person.”
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) April 15, 2024

#7

My tween is mad at me and it could be because of any number of horrible things I did this morning: stood in the kitchen, poured coffee, stared out the window, said good morning, breathed…
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 13, 2020

#8

What’s it like having a tween daughter? Imagine being the subject of a Comedy Central Roast for 14 hours a day.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 17, 2021

#9

When my son was a toddler, I understood 60% of the words he said, and now that he’s a tween I understand 60% of the words he says.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 29, 2021

#10

9yo, first time at a buffet: "Is this how kings live?"
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) December 31, 2021

#11

My wife and I were three drinks into date night when our 11-year-old came to us for help with her geometry homework, and let me tell you, we're all living dangerously tonight.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 17, 2022

#12

My son just informed me it’s illegal for 9 year olds to eat broccoli.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) September 27, 2023

#13

Nothing is more embarrassing for a tween boy than being seen out shopping with his mom by another tween boy who is also out shopping with his mom.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 26, 2022

#14

Overheard my 11 y/o daughter record her voicemail greeting: “Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail. When you hear the beep, hang up and send me a text.” This generation gets it.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 6, 2022

#15

There is no parenting book in the world that can prepare you for when your 11 year-old decides it's time to enter his Axe Body Spray years. This whole house smells like a New Jersey casino.
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) February 15, 2022

#16

I spray deodorant on my 12yo son while he's sleeping. You're welcome.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 10, 2018

#17

My 9yo took the time to make this sign rather than just throwing the bag away herself, I’m gonna need a minute pic.twitter.com/1rjqTPWBEC
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 5, 2022

#18

My 11 y/o daughter just casually told me she wants to start a company where people can order bacon, ham and sausage delivered to their house and call it “Hamazon.” This is why the world has billionaires.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 14, 2022

#19

Our fave ice cream shop got robbed and my 9yo started bawling. I couldn’t understand why until she said “SOMEONE STOLE ALL THE ICE CREAM?!”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) April 18, 2024

#20

My 12-year-old went to a movie with a boy.

I gave her money for her ticket.

The boy paid.

I did not get my money back.

I learned an important lesson about dating today.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 25, 2023

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For more laughs, check out: “25 Hilariously Relatable Tweets About Parenting Teenagers”

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