If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
learning is so boring unless it’s gossip. teachers should just start every lecture like “omg did you hear about parabolas”
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) October 14, 2022
#2
them: here's 10 potatoes. eat them all.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 18, 2023
me: seriously? i can't do that. it's too much food.
them: here's 10 potatoes that i mashed up and added butter, salt and milk to
me: that's better
#3
Clothing: hand wash only
— deedee | (@Honey_crowns) August 16, 2023
Me, tossing it into the washer: may the odds be ever in your favor
#4
Kids today have iPads, but when I was little my parents kept me busy on road trips by saying, ‘keep an eye on the trailer, and let us know if it falls off.’
— Mama Needs A Coke (@MamaNeedsACoke) August 17, 2021
#5
Teens be like, my room is a disaster and I didn't do any of my chores, but I need $20 and a ride.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) April 8, 2023
#6
please don’t ever speak to me about math. i've moved on
— nora 🌸 (@vxsjmz) February 26, 2024
#7
The kids were eating dinner and 6 was cross because I’d given her peas. I told her I couldn’t see any peas on her plate and she yelled “that’s because I accidentally ate them and accidentally really liked them”
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) December 30, 2022
#8
I just heard someone respond to an invite with “no, I’d hate that” and they’re my new hero.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) March 5, 2024
#9
My knee just cracked so loudly that I half expect it to glow in the dark tonight.
— Sooz (@CruisinSoozan) April 7, 2021
#10
After folding all of the clothes I can only assume that I have 7 children and two husbands that I was not previously aware of.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) April 13, 2020
#11
My 11 has all these girls texting him, and I’m so worried about him growing up too fast. I check his search history and I see “how to convince my mom to let me get a parakeet.”
— Chelle~ (@BombChelleMama_) May 4, 2022
I think I’m good.
#12
Taylor Swift remembers every feeling she’s ever had, every middle-of-the-night thought and every word a man has uttered to her and I can't even remember if I took one or two melatonin
— Sara K. Runnels (@omgskr) April 19, 2024
#13
My daughter said she can’t wait to have kids. I asked her why and she said “so they can bring me stuff when it’s in another room.”
— Holly Ballantine (@HollyBallantine) March 19, 2022
#14
I just found out that cauliflower waffles are a thing now and I just want to say that if anyone ever serves me a cauliflower waffle i will immediately call the police
— insta.single (@insta_single) March 1, 2021
#15
my dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is
— sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🍉 (@cottoncandaddy) February 16, 2022
#16
Why is it when my kids ‘have a surprise for me’ it’s always ‘we are wearing all of our clothes at once’ and never ‘we’ve brought you cake and silence’?
— Mama Needs A Coke (@MamaNeedsACoke) September 27, 2021
#17
Library patron of the week: the fella who came in, wandered around for a good while, then asked pleasantly, “What is this place?”
— Alix Hawley (@alixhawley) October 3, 2021
#18
I can’t do small talk I just asked the lady cutting my hair what she does for a living
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) November 10, 2021
#19
The greatest homemade snack of our generation. pic.twitter.com/039fogBUl2
— Mr K (@krezae) April 28, 2024
#20
How people walk when they’re:
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) December 17, 2017
DATING *holding hands*
ENGAGED *arms locked*
MARRIED *one person is 5 feet in front of the other and yelling back at them for parking so far away*
