25 of the Funniest Posts About Married Life in October 2025

I have no makeup on, hair in a pony tail, wearing leggings and a huge sweatshirt.

My husband, “You look so hot today.” Me, “Wow. Aren’t you sweet?” My soon-to-be-ex-husband, “I mean it’s 80 degrees out and that sweatshirt looks heavy.”

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 18, 2025

I always give my husband the last of whatever late night snack we're eating on the couch. He thinks it's sweet and sacrificial but I do it so he has to put the dish away and I look like a saint.

— Millie (@Mill_Ann_Doh) October 21, 2025

At the airport and a wife asked her husband “where are our seats” and he responds “in the airplane”

— dennis reynolds 🐝 (@coelybee) October 7, 2025

My gf is so much better at crosswords than me that I worry she loves me like a dog

— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) October 13, 2025

I’m a nerd who married a nerd and now we have nerd children and I can’t recommend it all highly enough.

— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) October 9, 2025

Man these are nice scissors

-me, about to get in trouble for opening a pack of bacon with my wife’s scissors.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 9, 2025

My wife: “How was the Giants game?”

Me: “We lost to the worst team in the NFL.”

My wife: “I thought the Giants were the worst team in the NFL…”

She gets it.

— Alex Wilson (@AlexWilsonESM) October 5, 2025

Let’s get married and have kids so instead of a wild Friday night we can figure out how early we need to wake up tomorrow for our kid’s sporting event.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 3, 2025

Sometimes my husband is a real catch.

And other times, he’s a real catch and release.

— Hollie Harris (@allholls) October 11, 2025

The walk of shame, but it’s me putting a dirty dish in the sink after my husband did the dishes.

— krista (@kristabellerina) October 21, 2025

Why does my wife always wait until I'm at the opposite end of the house before asking me to “Merm frner mernferr brnerfer!'?

— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) October 18, 2025

husband told me his friend got a le creuset dutch oven and he didn't even ask what color. men are hopeless.

— lia (@tallsnail) October 28, 2025

My husband offered me a “high-protein cheese” made from Greek yogurt instead of real cheese. I’m calling the police.

— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 21, 2025