Another week and and another round of funny and relatable quips from women.
Hope these bring some smiles to your day!
Janene
#1
Last year, I sent my husband to the store for something that didn’t exist. He waited an entire year to get me back. Today at Home Depot, he texted saying he needed a left-handed screwdriver… and I actually asked for one. Well played.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) February 20, 2025
#2
Having leftovers as a kid: this is the worst day of my LIFE!!!
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) February 17, 2025
Having leftovers as an adult: the gods have shined brightly on me today. I will always remember this moment and the chilled salty taste of this glorious, lifesaving vegetable pad Thai
#3
My friend couldn’t remember the word vicariously so he said “I’m living bicuriously through you”
— Agita Christie (@pagan_hoetry) February 20, 2025
#4
it's honestly hilarious to me that we've taught robots to do pretty much anything except click "i am not a robot" on a CAPTCHA
— trash jones (@jzux) February 19, 2025
#5
I don’t want to go outside again until the temperature is above my age.
— Ginger (@gingerbrigade1) February 16, 2025
#6
Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman
— Cannie Oakley: Local Cryptid (@Staceballs) February 18, 2025
#7
sometimes you just gotta add three dots at the end of a sentence….
— ًً (@WlLDSUN) February 20, 2025
#8
*zipping up suitcase*
— snowed in tera-cotta (@notincharge7) February 20, 2025
"See one of you tomorrow, see the rest of you when we get home."
-I say to the 7 outfits I packed for one overnight trip
#9
if you have a pet carrier at the airport it’s my right to peek in like who’s that
— alexa (@mariokartdwi) February 18, 2025
#10
You’ll never convince me that my call is very important to you. 33 minutes and counting.
— AbbyDabbyDuh (@DearAuntAbby) February 20, 2025
#11
Town FB groups are just people posting “did anyone else hear that loud noise”every day until you unfollow.
— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) February 18, 2025
#12
Mid 30s guy at pan pacific park is PLEADING w his dog, who is named Beverly, to behave. He’s like “Beverly, please!!”
— danielle (@_danielle_carr) February 17, 2025
#13
My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago
— earth sprite (@_miasierra) February 16, 2025
#14
Men see a message with multiple questions and consider it a choose your own adventure for which part they reply to
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) February 20, 2025
#15
how is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight. you’re from outside
— natalie (@nataliestwt) February 16, 2025
#16
Welcome to Netflix. We have all the movies except for the ones you want to watch.
— Kristen (@Kica333) February 17, 2025
#17
Eating chips and salsa is a gateway drug to eating WAY TOO MUCH chips and salsa
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) February 19, 2025
#18
Sometimes my husband says our house is haunted but that can’t be true. I’ve lived here for 200 years now and haven’t noticed anything unusual.
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) February 20, 2025
#19
No one prepared me for the part of adulthood where I would have a favorite reusable grocery bag.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) February 17, 2025
#20
me testing the firmness of every avocado in the grocery store pic.twitter.com/jcluMaias9
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) February 21, 2025
