Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
I was driving with my teenage niece and she turned on a band and said “they’re kinda underground, but I like them.”
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) March 14, 2023
Green Day, the band was Green Day.
#2
Me: It’s time to get dressed for school
— Paul Palmeri (@ThisPaul) March 15, 2023
3 year old: Ok I just have to do something first.
The Something: pic.twitter.com/0BKHdJENXA
#3
there are two kinds of people: the rush to go to the doctor at the slightest hint of illness person, or the “just chill and hope it goes away eventually” person. and they’re married
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 14, 2023
#4
The thing about being a mom is that you spend the kid’s first few years devoting every part of your mind, body, and soul to them and then as soon as you start to burn out, that’s when their little brains start forming memories.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) March 13, 2023
#5
I’m in that magical stage of parenting where I don’t need to change diapers or carry baby gear but I also don’t have to deal with teenage problems yet and my kids still think I’m smart and funny…how do I stay here???
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 13, 2023
#6
my husband might not tell me that he bought my 6yo lipstick, but there will be signs pic.twitter.com/pj6vH3G65d
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 14, 2023
#7
My wife banned iPads from my kids so my sweet angels stood in the hallway where they thought I couldn’t hear and whispered “Let’s ask dad because he always let us and then we can blame him when mommy asks”.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) March 13, 2023
#8
I don't mean to brag, but I scored a parenting hat trick this morning…
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) March 14, 2023
… I made my teen sigh, roll her eyes and leave the room because I looked at her and smiled.
#9
"UGH WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SMELL?!" my 6yo yells as she walks into the kitchen.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 15, 2023
My cooking. The smell was my cooking.
#10
My 6yo is devastated – horrified – to have lost a library book. I told him that if we really couldn't find it, we could replace it, and he looked at me with horror – "I can't make another one, Mom! It was too beautiful!"
— Audrey Burges (@Audrey_Burges) March 15, 2023
#11
me: i really like miley cyrus's new cd
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 15, 2023
my kids: what's a cd?
me: *dies of old age*
#12
My son told me that I am bigger, fatter and older than any other mommy and that I win.
— Mad Hatter Mommy!!! (@MadHatterMommy) March 16, 2023
At least I have that going for me.
#13
I told my kids to go to bed so naturally they are performing a musical.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 14, 2023
#14
8 was playing with different sounds he found on an app. then he said oh you have to hear this funny weird sound. then played the sound of dial up internet. no matter how much i explained it he didn't understand what it was. his brain could not compute.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 16, 2023
#15
Me: [practicing “Cat’s in the Cradle” on guitar]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 16, 2023
Son: Hey, dad-
Me: NOT NOW
#16
Was driving the other day and heard my daughter whisper “mom he’s staring at you” so, very alarmed, I looked at the car next to me.
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 14, 2023
It was a dog. A dog was staring at me.
#17
Marriage is like, “I can’t believe you would do this” and “this” is just folding a towel in half instead of thirds.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 17, 2023
#18
Having kids that play instruments sounds cool until your teen decides to practice drums while you’re 6 year old practices piano
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 17, 2023
HELP
#19
I told my husband I’d rather deal with him than ever enter the dating world again so yeah I’d say our romance is still alive.
— LaughCryCoffee (@laughcrycoffee) March 15, 2023
#20
How many pairs of undies do you pack for a five day trip please say seven.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 14, 2023