Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week

I was driving with my teenage niece and she turned on a band and said “they’re kinda underground, but I like them.”

Green Day, the band was Green Day.

— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) March 14, 2023

Me: It’s time to get dressed for school
3 year old: Ok I just have to do something first.

The Something: pic.twitter.com/0BKHdJENXA

— Paul Palmeri (@ThisPaul) March 15, 2023

there are two kinds of people: the rush to go to the doctor at the slightest hint of illness person, or the “just chill and hope it goes away eventually” person. and they’re married

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 14, 2023

The thing about being a mom is that you spend the kid’s first few years devoting every part of your mind, body, and soul to them and then as soon as you start to burn out, that’s when their little brains start forming memories.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) March 13, 2023

I’m in that magical stage of parenting where I don’t need to change diapers or carry baby gear but I also don’t have to deal with teenage problems yet and my kids still think I’m smart and funny…how do I stay here???

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 13, 2023

my husband might not tell me that he bought my 6yo lipstick, but there will be signs pic.twitter.com/pj6vH3G65d

— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 14, 2023

My wife banned iPads from my kids so my sweet angels stood in the hallway where they thought I couldn’t hear and whispered “Let’s ask dad because he always let us and then we can blame him when mommy asks”.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) March 13, 2023

I don't mean to brag, but I scored a parenting hat trick this morning…

… I made my teen sigh, roll her eyes and leave the room because I looked at her and smiled.

— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) March 14, 2023

"UGH WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SMELL?!" my 6yo yells as she walks into the kitchen.

My cooking. The smell was my cooking.

— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 15, 2023

My 6yo is devastated – horrified – to have lost a library book. I told him that if we really couldn't find it, we could replace it, and he looked at me with horror – "I can't make another one, Mom! It was too beautiful!"

— Audrey Burges (@Audrey_Burges) March 15, 2023

me: i really like miley cyrus's new cd

my kids: what's a cd?

me: *dies of old age*

— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 15, 2023

My son told me that I am bigger, fatter and older than any other mommy and that I win.
At least I have that going for me.

— Mad Hatter Mommy!!! (@MadHatterMommy) March 16, 2023

I told my kids to go to bed so naturally they are performing a musical.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 14, 2023

8 was playing with different sounds he found on an app. then he said oh you have to hear this funny weird sound. then played the sound of dial up internet. no matter how much i explained it he didn't understand what it was. his brain could not compute.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 16, 2023

Me: [practicing “Cat’s in the Cradle” on guitar]

Son: Hey, dad-

Me: NOT NOW

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 16, 2023

Was driving the other day and heard my daughter whisper “mom he’s staring at you” so, very alarmed, I looked at the car next to me.

It was a dog. A dog was staring at me.

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 14, 2023

Marriage is like, “I can’t believe you would do this” and “this” is just folding a towel in half instead of thirds.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 17, 2023

Having kids that play instruments sounds cool until your teen decides to practice drums while you’re 6 year old practices piano

HELP

— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 17, 2023

I told my husband I’d rather deal with him than ever enter the dating world again so yeah I’d say our romance is still alive.

— LaughCryCoffee (@laughcrycoffee) March 15, 2023

How many pairs of undies do you pack for a five day trip please say seven.

— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 14, 2023