20 of the Best Tweets From Parents This Week

I took my 6yo to a park that I used to take her before she started school. We would play at this park while we waited for her siblings to get out of school. When we got to the park, she smiled, "you brought me to my memories!"

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) November 8, 2023

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 11, 2023

I’ve noticed this weird phenomenon where the older my daughter gets the more embarrassing I am

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 9, 2023

Picked up my kid from a play date and the other mom told me how amazing, polite, helpful and well behaved my child was, it was worrisome she didn’t know which kid was mine but I asked if I could take the one she described home with me instead

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 6, 2023

One year I hid all my son’s Christmas presents under the pile of clothes in his room. He didn’t have a clue

— Mr Wright Now, Maybe (@dannyboy7813) November 7, 2023

I was a terrible mother today and told my teens I hate them. Well what I really said was, ‘it’s raining so you might need an umbrella’ but apparently it’s the same thing

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) November 9, 2023

Me: Bus will be here in 5 minutes!

Daughter: *goes outside to wait for bus*

Son: *hops in shower*

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 8, 2023

This morning when I woke my daughter for school she said I don’t like how you wake me with a soft voice so tomorrow I’m waking her with a kazoo.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 8, 2023

Spoiled my daughter with new shoes and books and took her and her friends shopping and to dinner for her 12th birthday.

Two boys from her school sent her a video of them singing, “Happy Birthday.” She messaged back, “best birthday gift ever.” I feel my status might be slipping.

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) November 6, 2023

After seeing my childhood photo album my 7yo is sad that I grew up in times when color wasn’t invented

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 6, 2023

My 9yo told me a week ago he was getting a new classmate named “Sandiego” (like the city). I go, “Santiago?” He goes, “no, Sandiego.”

Today, he goes, “hey, mom, remember that new classmate? His name is actually ‘Sebastian.’”

— Lindsay Fickas (@lindsayfickas) November 6, 2023

me: *yelling at a crazy driver who’s speeding and weaving in and out of traffic*

9yo: be nice daddy maybe he has to poop real bad.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) November 8, 2023

First graders are so random. They will come up to you in class and say, “My mom likes to smell my stinky feet,” leaving you to deal with that knowledge, as you sit across from “the stinky feet mom” later that afternoon at parent/teacher conference.

— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) November 11, 2023

This man said, “You know what success is? When your kids want to hang out with you as adults. What good is having a large home that nobody wants to come back to for the holidays.” That’s so real.

— Lecie Geneva (@LecieGeneva) November 6, 2023

My kid asked me to hold her candy, took one look at my excited face and decided she should hold onto it instead, which was definitely the right call

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 7, 2023

when you get in your bed all cozy bc you changed the sheets today…..to discover that a child secretly ate a granola bar in your bed.

— emily (@emilykmay) November 7, 2023

*My oldest turned 9 and my 6yo was sad*

Me: Why are you sad?

6yo: I want to be older.

9yo: Why do you want to be older? Do you want to look like dad?

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) November 6, 2023

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who just watched someone else push the elevator button

— The Dad (@thedad) November 8, 2023

Last weekend my 6-year-old was upset because she was nervous about her swim meet, so I told her if she could find some confidence and do it, I would throw a pie in her dad’s face the second he got home. That child swam like an Olympian. Follow me for more motivational tools. pic.twitter.com/HczAaZrfyB

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) November 8, 2023

Reasons My Toddler Cried Tonight included:

-he wanted me to cut his toast and so I did and then he lost all semblance of composure because I did not realize I was supposed to cut just the TOAST, not the JAM

— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) November 8, 2023