Here’s a little round-up of some of the funny posts I thought you would enjoy.
Hope these bring you some laughs and hope you have a great week!
Janene
#1
My 5-year-old was coloring when she stopped, looked me directly in the eye, and said “I don’t want to do crimes," which SHOULD be reassuring but lemme tell ya… it is not
— The Dad (@thedad) October 15, 2023
#2
I hate when a new season of a tv show starts without a recap of what happened last season. you expect me to remember? my brain is a little puddle of apple sauce sloshing around my skull. I have lived many lives since then. please just tell me what I need to know
— Gabrielle Drolet (@gabrielledrolet) June 6, 2024
#3
After folding all of the clothes I can only assume that I have 7 children and two husbands that I was not previously aware of.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) April 13, 2020
#4
we took my toddler to a safari park and we were like fifteen feet away from a rhino and the toddler turned around, gasped with wonder, and pointed at the chevy pick up truck driving the other way, saying "CAR! CAR!"
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) July 25, 2026
#5
No one:
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 25, 2021
Absolutely no one:
My 4yo: When I was in your tummy it was super gross in there
#6
Regularly haunted by my own hubris – tried to set my bf up on a playdate with my coworkers husband because they both “really like bikes.” Anyways, it turns out her husband was in the Tour De France
— Claire E. Aubin? (@ceaubin) October 25, 2023
#7
My 7yo has captured Monday energy perfectly.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 16, 2023
Today she woke up and said “mommy do you ever wake up and want to say bad words”
All the time baby girl. All. The. Time.
#8
If you’re thinking about having kids, just know that my kid followed behind me with a cupcake as I vacuumed.
— Marissa ☀️🌻💛 (@michimama75) January 23, 2023
#9
Nothing quite like looking at the way someone else has loaded the dishwasher to remind you that the mind of another is truly unknowable
— 🍃 (@cardamomkiss) June 6, 2024
#10
A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming “WHAT’S THAT” and a driving parent yelling “I CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU’RE POINTING AT” repeat until everyone is crying
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 2, 2023
#11
“Ohhh. Because it’s our dog’s birthday.”
— kindminds_smarthearts (@kindminds_) September 21, 2023
-my 5 yo son after noticing I was wearing a blouse rather than a t-shirt today
#12
Nothing makes me end a phone call more quickly than hearing an echo of my own voice.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) July 19, 2024
#13
Staying with my MIL. She’s trained crows to ring a bell in the morning when they’re ready for their tiny peanut butter sandwiches she makes them. I’m not sure there’s anything else to say.
— Katy Goforth (@MarchingFourth) April 27, 2023
#14
god I wish I was the person I believed I could be when I dumped this massive heap of clean laundry on my bed this morning
— sweatpants cher🔸 (@House_Feminist) February 15, 2023
#15
The first time my daughter met her Great Aunt she turned to me and moistly whispered “I thought it was weird that you called her great, but I see it now”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 11, 2023
#16
(a movie starts and a character is there) my mom: who’s that
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) February 17, 2023
#17
I’m at the produce market and the smallest italian greyhound I have ever seen just snatched the remaining third of my croissant and the owner hissed AUDREY and they both ran away
— marrowing (@marrowing) June 3, 2023
#18
made my therapist laugh until she had tears in her eyes & fell out of the zoom frame nothing can stop me now i am her favorite this is what peak performance looks like i have won all of therapy
— sarah rose etter (@sarahroseetter) June 4, 2024
#19
Me: Your teacher said you clean up her desk everyday at school.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 18, 2023
7-year-old: Yeah.
Me: Why don't you clean up at home?
7: I come here to relax, not work.
#20
Me: Did you see everything you wanted to see in England?
— Dr. Glaucomflecken (@DGlaucomflecken) July 8, 2024
12 yo: Well I never heard somebody say “Cheerio”
