25 Funny Posts from Parents of Smart and Spirited Girls

My 7yo daughter: someone at camp said girls aren’t tough.

Me: what did you say to that?

My 7yo, who has had a loose tooth for over a week: I pulled out my tooth in front of him and he stopped talking to me. #parenting

— Katie Cook (@katiecandraw) August 24, 2018

5 told me to come to her hair salon, rearranged my hair then put the mirror in front of us and said “well I look beautiful but I haven’t been able to help you this time” then she looked me in the eye and said “you still have to pay though”

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 6, 2022

I’ve been teaching my daughter to sneak candy into the theater, like any good parent would, but when she pulled a pack of deli ham out of her bag I realized I’ve created a monster

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 11, 2023

When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, “In a pie-eating contest, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie.” I think about that a lot.

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) September 27, 2022

Someone left an anonymous love note on my daughter’s desk and the first thing she did was put it in a ziploc baggie so she can get DNA and fingerprints

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 27, 2024

Told my daughter work was tough today and she patted my back and said, “Life isn’t always pickles and peaches,” like some kind of 3rd Grade Confucius.

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) March 19, 2021

Me: What did you do at school today?

5-year-old: Learned about dragons.

Me: Your class learned about dragons?

5: I learned about dragons. I don't know what everybody else was doing.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2018

Asked my 6yo if she was a tough cookie and she said “no, because cookies crumble” and now I have a life coach.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 6, 2021

My 3yo said she wanted to be an astronaut, and I said she had to study hard, go to college, learn a lot of science, and take a physical fitness test, and she shrugged and said, "That's just 4 things." So she's basically a nonchalant motivational speaker.

— Jen Dziura (@jendziura) February 15, 2018

My 11 y/o daughter just casually told me she wants to start a company where people can order bacon, ham and sausage delivered to their house and call it “Hamazon.” This is why the world has billionaires.

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 14, 2022

Told my 3y.o. we needed to pick up dinner for her dad and she said "Daddy's a grown man he can cook his own food."

My work here is done.

— la pachuca ☭ (@kategoesboom) June 28, 2017

*singing to my 5yo* twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are

Her: stop. It's a ball of gas.

Me: ….

Her: Science. Stop pretending you don't know what it is.

— KarateAndPopTarts (@KarenReneK) March 11, 2018

7-year-old: All the boys said they were faster than girls in gym class.

Me: What did you say?

7: Nothing. I just beat them.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 22, 2017

Legit call from the school:

Principal: I just wanted to touch base with you. Your daughter was baiting seagulls into the playground with gummy worms and actually caught one; Like in her arms. It did bite her—not hard, but I needed to inform you that we filed an incident report

— who cares (@DianaG2772) March 8, 2023

My daughter’s boyfriend was complaining about how difficult it is to be a guy. My daughter reached into her purse, pulled out a pad, and said “here, cry into this.”

— BOOP (@Pettyyyboop) February 10, 2025

“Your daughter has been training the other children to cry on demand, seemingly in order to disrupt the class” is among the many things that parenting books have not prepared me for

— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) June 11, 2024

A few days ago I opened my 7yo’s piggy bank and took some bills fully intending on replacing them before she noticed

I forgot. Apparently she counts it weekly. She freaked out. We are now heading to the bank with her purse in hand

She even charged me interest pic.twitter.com/tBBj6Kkrs3

— kids_kubed 🇨🇦 (@Kids_kubed) May 23, 2021