If there’s one thing you usually need on a family vacation, it’s a sense of humor. Spending 24/7 together in close quarters with your spouse or kids can be amazing and at the same time drive you nuts.
I’ve rounded up the funniest, most relatable quips I could find about vacations and traveling, hope you’ll have some laughs!
Janene
#1
Me getting dressed: *puts on the same black yoga pants for the 8th day in a row*
— Ali Kolbert (@AliKolbert) April 11, 2019
Me packing for vacation: I don’t have room for this third ball gown I may need to check another bag
#2
Hotels are like “Here’s 17 pillows on the bed. None of them are comfortable.”
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 11, 2022
#3
I never eat breakfast at home, but when on vacation I go out for breakfast every day and am like “YES I’D LIKE THE STARVING LUMBERJACK GUTBUSTER PLATTER AND A SIDE PILE OF BACON.”
— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) February 26, 2024
#4
Asked my 7yo what he was looking forward to most about flying for the first time. He said riding around on the luggage carousel. I told him that's not a thing you do, and I'm really glad we had that talk before going to the airport.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) February 15, 2025
#5
Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life
— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) November 19, 2019
#6
When you land on time, but the plane does that little 37 minute sightseeing trip around the airport
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 20, 2024
#7
Dads love announcing to everyone the name of the river they are crossing on a road trip.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 10, 2021
#8
airplane: we offer FREE wifi
— trash jones (@jzux) January 23, 2026
me: omg that’s amazing! and it works?
airplane: no 🔥
#9
There are two types of people: Those who get to the airport four hours early and still worry about missing their flight, and those who think the final boarding call is a good time to go grab Starbucks, and they marry each other.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) June 13, 2023
#10
Every time I leave the house with my four kids for a trip, I understand more and more how the McCallisters were able to forget Kevin at home.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2021
#11
Are you telling me there are people who return home from a trip and unpack their suitcase that day instead of slowly across weeks or months as they remember they need something out of it
— Sarah Hollowell 🦝 (@sarahhollowell) March 1, 2022
#12
can’t stop thinking about the time I watched a woman try to put her dog through the airport security scanner and the tsa agent picked it up and was like “ma’am no”
— sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 (@cottoncandaddy) July 1, 2019
#13 I’m laughing because we were at a hotel recently and I got in on the opposite side of the bed that I’m normally on and my husband was like “What are you doing??”
You get the same side of the bed at a hotel as you get at home. Those are the rules!
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) February 2, 2022
#14
I hate when you pack for a trip early and have to wear second tier underwear for the rest of the week.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 25, 2020
#15
Wife: We have to make the bed.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 3, 2018
Me: We're in a hotel. They literally pay someone to make it for us.
Wife: But they'll judge us for being messy.
#16
Before getting married, you should be required to go on a road trip. If your relationship can survive 10 or more hours of your partner panic gasping every time you speed up and change lanes, you’re meant to be.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) March 9, 2020
#17
There are two kinds of people in this world, those who have vacation constipation, and those who have vacation diarrhea, and they marry each other
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) August 8, 2024
#18
i dont simply go through airport security. i have a goal. i want everyone in line to be blown away by my efficiency. i want to be celebrated as i push my belongings across the table. i want TSA to offer me a job (i’ll decline). i want people talking about me at their gate. glory.
— shelby wolstein (@ShelbyWolstein) April 26, 2022
#19
My husband just told me he wants a divorce.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) June 24, 2020
Actually his exact words were “I think it would be cool for the whole family to live in an RV and travel the country for a year,” but tomato, to-mah-to
#20
Accidentally activated “vacation dad” by telling my husband there is construction on our way to the airport…we are now leaving at 3 am for a 5 pm flight. We live 20 mins away.
— floorboard (@StruggleDisplay) August 3, 2022
#21
i love airports because rules of society just don’t apply. eat pizza or ice cream while wearing sweatpants at 8 pm or 8 am, no one cares.
— Brittany Dawn (@itsbrittanydawn) May 1, 2018
#22
Sitting on airplane…. I sanitize our tray tables, seat cushions, seatbelts, and seatback pockets. My child then licks the window.
— floorboard (@StruggleDisplay) October 16, 2021
#23
Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 10, 2020
#24
Airbnb falling apart warms my soul. Why the hell y’all got me doing chores when I’m on vacation
— Anthony Moore (@AllThatandMoore) June 28, 2023
Lady behind me on this @delta flight is complaining to the stewardess because they made her check her bag and there’s a ton of room.
— Melissa Perri (@lissijean) August 19, 2024
Her husband to the stewardess: “you know she went to college with the CEO of Delta”
Stewardess: “You should have kept in touch.”
💀
#25
It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.
— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) June 9, 2016







