The women of Twitter never fail to make me laugh with funny and relatable quips.
Here’s a quick little round-up of some of my favorite tweets from women this week.
Hope these bring some smiles to your day!
Janene
#1
Today, I saw 2 teenagers kissing in the park.
— hoppity ن 🇻🇦 〓〓 𖦏 (@carambar_fraise) July 25, 2024
It reminded me of my teenage days, when I used to see other teenagers kissing in the park.
#2
I just got a text from the hospital to confirm my appointment and let me know that they were changing it to a virtual visit.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) July 24, 2024
My appointment is for a colonoscopy.
#3
Does anyone else grab the item behind the one in front when you're shopping because you think there's something wrong with the front one? Or is that just me?
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) July 24, 2024
#4
In a changing room someone sneezed so I instinctively said ‘bless you’ and she said ‘…who is that??’ and I said ‘me’
— Dee (@figgled) July 22, 2024
#5
most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) July 23, 2024
#6
Someone just randomly approached me for advice at the supermarket because “you look like you know what you’re doing with cheese” and I don’t think I’ve ever been more flattered.
— Joy Marie Clarkson ☀️ (@joynessthebrave) July 27, 2024
#7
I need authors to stop writing things like “she brushed her thick curly hair” & “she pulled a comb through her curls,” because no she didn’t. Unless the next sentence is “and it frizzed up like backcombed poodle,” she did not do that. This is not how curly hair works. #NicheGripe
— Kate Lister (@k8_lister) July 20, 2024
#8
if i knew how to back flip that'd be my response to everything
— jynx (@jynxbby) July 24, 2024
#9
congrats to everyone on instagram posting their beautiful weddings today!! i am eating a cheesesteak in bed at 8:30pm so i am also busy
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) July 21, 2024
#10
Successfully backed out of the driveway without a backup camera just like my ancestors used to do.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) July 25, 2024
#11
Not to brag, but I bought and wrapped a gift the day before the birthday party instead of on our way to the party.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) July 21, 2024
#12
Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) July 26, 2024
#13
It’s important as a woman to know what the thing wrong with you would be if you were a Seinfeld girlfriend
— The Only Living Dead Girl in New York (@missjellinsky) July 23, 2024
#14
why do finance men wear backpacks. What's inside there. The money???
— delia (@delia_cai) July 24, 2024
#15
Do you guys ever read other comments to see if it was said ten times already or no
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) July 24, 2024
#16
having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you
— trash jones (@jzux) July 24, 2024
#17
The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) July 23, 2024
#18
My clothes are looser after a week in Italy and great news, this just means all I need is to quit my job, walk 25,000+ steps a day in 95 degree heat, have no domestic responsibilities at all, and also access to an EU regulated food supply. Sustainable changes.
— girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) July 25, 2024
#19
Welcome to adulthood, where staying home on a Saturday night feels like a win.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) July 27, 2024
#20
How do Nigerians come up with the best insults ever ????? I saw a Nigerian mum say to her daughter ‘when it was raining common sense outside, you had an umbrella’
— Marilyn (@MarilynMill_) July 26, 2024
Like HOW does one even think of that 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#21
Spent all day cleaning my house top to bottom, I think it's finally ready for professional cleaner to come
— sarah (@sarahradz_) July 27, 2024
#22
One thing I love about my city is it that it gives very accurate bear warnings pic.twitter.com/0sm03OApSI
— Tiffany Stevenson (@tiffstevenson) July 20, 2024
#23
I wouldn’t tell anyone I’d won the lottery, but there would be signs— pic.twitter.com/fKis4yz7YZ
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) July 24, 2024
#24
Don’t know what my married friends and I were expecting when we booked a hotel room for three. But I do think this is the funniest outcome. Three twin beds a foot apart from each other pic.twitter.com/d0JNxGRYPa
— Gabrielle Drolet (@gabrielledrolet) July 26, 2024
#25
This morning I woke up from a nightmare. Bleary-eyed, I tried to text my boyfriend about it. Accidentally texted Capital One 💀 pic.twitter.com/mhevXYbXsk
— Laurmageddon (@knittykitty) July 23, 2024
