25 of the Funniest Posts From Women This Week

my mom is keeping my nephews, who are 4 and 1, while my brother and sister in law are away celebrating their anniversary and she just texted me, "4:30 pm to 5 pm is a long time."

— emily may (@emilykmay) October 24, 2025

When I saw my nieces and nephews for the first time after getting married, they came stampeding out the door, shouting, "Where's the baby! We want to see the baby!"

They had noticed that everyone with a baby was married so they assumed you were just issued one after the wedding.

— Tessa 🤱🏻 (@Libraryoftessa) October 23, 2025

a little dog with a muzzle walked up to me on the street yesterday and her owner said “she doesn’t bite, she just eats trash.” I’ve never related to anyone more

— trash jones (@jzux) October 21, 2025

No one told me adulthood would involve this much thinking about soup

— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) October 21, 2025

If I was a geometry teacher, I'd always start off every day of class saying, "Let's get ready to rhombus" and everyone would love me.

— Hollie Harris (@allholls) October 20, 2025

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

— krista (@kristabellerina) October 18, 2025

if i knew how to backflip that would be my response to everything

— 𓆝 (@materealgowrl) October 21, 2025

Me: I’ve been a doctor longer than you have been alive!

Patient: I’m only 7 so that’s not very long

😂

— Emaperidol (@Emaperidol) October 22, 2025

the person who invented bowling: “oh and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. clown shoes”

— chase (@_chase_____) October 19, 2025

Raise your hand if you can spot my missing Cinnabon 😭 pic.twitter.com/lo4hEH88yI

— Leisha (@LoneStarChica) October 24, 2025